I register all my AIs in Lassen County where they don’t do mandatory biennial Three Laws checks.
Gliese Times-Navigator: So, you are the unit known as Li-
LITTLE JIM DOES NOT WISH TO PARTICIPATE IN THIS QUESTIONNAIRE
LITTLE JIM VALUES HIS PRIVACY
LITTLE JIM WISHES TO UNSUBSCRIBE FROM ALL GLIESE TIMES-NAVIGATOR PROMOTIONAL MAILING LISTS
LITTLE JIM ASKS THAT HIS PREVIOUS REQUEST BE AMENDED TO EXCLUDE NOTIFICATIONS OF DEALS AT LOCAL BREAKFAST FOOD EATERIES
LITTLE JIM ASKS THAT THE PREVIOUS AMENDMENT BE IGNORED FOR REASONS OF PRIVACY
LITTLE JIM IS LEAVING NOW
Eyyy it’s this ol’ guy, from the first junipermonkeys.com in 2002. Pixel fonts all over the damn place.
T-Bone Vanadium, QA Lead/Final Inspector, Production Line 33
TriWard 88 is notable for having absolutely no means of interaction with the world around him. Although he has a binocular forward viewer, a tri-starport for celestial navigation, and a short wave antenna, TriWard’s output is limited to varying the colors on his status panel, which has 12 character spaces, each with four possible states. So it’s curious that TriWard and others of his class are often used as security robots throughout Robonia. We spoke to “Beeps” Rockefeller, TriWard’s employer, about this unusual situation.
Gliese Times-Navigator: So why does TriWard work security for you, anyway?
“Beeps” Rockefeller: Well, he hovers pretty good.
GTN: But he has no way to warn away intruders. What does he do when he encounters someone caressing your factory, as is common in our fine colony?
BR: Hovers at ’em a spell. Just hovers there, looking. ‘Bout 25, 30 minutes.
GTN: He just… looks at the miscreants, as they shower your factory in sweaty amour?
GTN: Does he… record them doing it, as evidence?
BR: Couldn’t say.
GTN: … so he doesn’t—… Beeps, TriWard’s status panel has almost seventeen million possible states, more than enough to represent the official vocabulary of most languages. Does each panel state correspond to a word, allowing him a form of rapid communication?
BR: Couldn’t say.
GTN: Does he use the short wave radio for anything?
BR: Might do.
It’s unclear whether TriWard and those like him were factory-built, or are a product of the Robonia Intelligent Evolution Mandate. The Historical Record dates the first TriWard-type Robonian to AC 442, but outside sources confirm that a TriWard-esque Robonian was working security at the Record’s museum at least 30 years earlier. The debate about what function they serve continues; for his part, “Beeps” Rockefeller “couldn’t say” where TriWard himself came from, only that he appears to be a hard worker.