Vampires are all worn out now, unless you work for the CW, and werewolves along with them. I say to you that it is time to bring back sexy mummy books, or possibly write some if they weren’t real before. I feel that this is the true way to the #1 spot on the YA Best-Seller List, not to mention true self-reliance as mandated by the Juche ideology (and, it goes without saying, our current Five-Year Plan). Allow me to present some excerpts suitable for use on Western Imperialist Kickstarter:
“Chad slowly unwrapped Amunkhare’s gauze. ‘Gross’, he said.”
“‘Mortal’, she said, ‘were it not for being packed with natron and linen, I would be as moist as all the waters in lioness Tefnut’s domain.’
‘…Gross’, said Chad”
“‘Chad’, she said to Chad, ‘retrieve the canopic jar which is sealed with a likeness of Anubis. It contains my human reproductive system, removed as part of the mummification process by the temple guardians of Khar-Toba.’ ‘Gross’, said Chad.”
If the market absolutely requires it, we could alter the book to be a dystopian sexy mummy book. Chad’s name would be Chadniss, and Amunkhare’s name would remain the same.