This has been a very trying time for my productivity. On Saturday I went from no TV to a TV, and no GTA V to some GTA V, and then that same afternoon copies of Pokémon X and Y came for R. Monkeys and myself. It’s even worse than last year, when I happened to finish building the Mac Pro/W3680/GeForce 670 right when the Steam Summer Sale started.
My manservant, Milosz, has been tasked with impersonating me for the next couple of weeks at all sporting events, international grands prix, employment-related mandatory attendance sessions, and monster recognition trainings. Covering for me at all factory openings, rhythm and blues revues, police academy graduation ceremonies, and wrestling events will be Marky “Fortran” Al-Tawehi, former body double of Angela Merkel and current Duke of Pepsi Presents Unified Silesia. Lastly, all ship christenings, declarations of martial law, and International Criminal Court hearings will be attended by a talking labrador who I have trained to stand on its hind feet. I appreciate your patience and understanding during this time.