Tales of Intrigue

We will all, at one time, attempt to be Dr. Gregory’s wingman as he approaches HRH Dingbat Yamada. The importance of this event is apparent and amazing; Dr. Gregory will find love. But Dr. Gregory is a winged beast, and has two wings already. He is the scion of Tourniquet, Ostrich of the Nine Winds, and his ninth wife Amandine, which means that he does not typically need wing-assistance.

HRH Dingbat Yamada is a different story, however. She has no wings, because she is one of the famed Mole-esses of Crete. So, it’s possible that Dr. Gregory will need two wing-men. He may woo HRH Dingbat Yamada by giving her his wings, and that’s where the two new ones would come in. Of course, HRH Dingbat Yamada is also Japanese, so he may not need wing-corporals, as she may be wooed by a Louis Vuitton bag. But, it is possible that Dr. Gregory does not know this, so there’d be an opening for a wingman who might enlighten him. We have thus established that Dr. Gregory needs zero, one, or two wing-men.

If he were to be told that HRH Dingbat Yamada would like a handbag and give her his wings, he would have used a total of three wing-men, which is even more promising for you assembled teeming weirdos. A fourth might be able to insinuate himself upon their pairing by offering his services as a shoe-shine boy. This is, however, a risky proposition because Dr. Gregory does not wear shoes, and HRH Dingbat Yamada wears a single iron boot which she guards with her life; the fourth prospective winged man would need to establish a pre-existing friendship, guardianship, and power of attorney-ship with her before Dr. Gregory would even consider taking him on.

Numbers of wing-men above four are precipitously unlikely; wing-gifts, Vuitton-informing, and shoe-shining are the three most likely pursuits for young lovers in this ninth century of ours, so there just isn’t that much room. Perhaps, perhaps Dr. Gregory could employ a fifth as a hat, or a stoleā€¦ it is unclear, but unlikely.
Glory to he who aileron-assistancy seeks!