Dumb Stuff

Ryugyong Int’l Motor Expo: Voss Nose unveils Plesiopheonix-XX, world’s first car with peasant filter.

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Sex Farm Woman Herald-Tribune – 2010 Ryugyong International Motoring Expo: Speaking via saucy hologram, Voss Nose CEO and former Japanese Prime Minister Tsutomu Hata unveiled the Plesiopheonix-XX, a new sporting coupé with environmental credentials lacking from previous Voss Noses. Pairing the company’s Itchy Emperor platform with the wrought-iron V20 “Superthorax” motor, the Plesiopheonix represents a new econo-pervert direction for the company.

“At first, I wasn’t sure where I was,” Hata noted, “and then I realized I was at the motor show. Hello, lady. We’re very excited by the Plesiopheonix’s new technology. Commonly, when driving through urban, rural, or terrestrial areas, one’s motoring carriage will suck up a lot of peasants, which can really gum up the engine after a few thousand miles. That’s bad for milage. What we do is install a special filter in the intakes that uses combined layers of cable TV, compelling retail outlets, and public schools to trap any peasants that might enter the engine bay. It then puts them to work on internal improvements to each Plesiopheonix. This represents an exciting new frontier in enviro-conscious motoring; the more peasants you can trap inside your engine bay, the nicer your Plesiopheonix will become.”

Hata did not respond to charges that the 84-foot Plesiopheonix-XX was simply the latest in his series of attempts to impress actress Catalina Sandino “Mad Dog” Moreno, instead pointing out the car’s other features, including neural network turn signals and rear braking array composed of 96,000 drum brakes. Voss Nose plans to offer the Plesiopheonix beginning in Q2 ’12, with prices starting at 144 billion yuan.